I WAS that teen mom!
First of all, by talking about this, I’m absolutely not trying to hint at who I’m voting for. I have no desire to start a feud between my readers. I’ve visited many many blogs lately that say horrible things about Palin’s parenting skills as well as her daughter being pregnant.
I feel the need to say I’m not at all okay with teenagers being pregnant but at the same time.. I WAS that teenage mom. I was not a trouble-making teenager. I didn’t go to parties, I absolutely hated alcohol, I didn’t ditch school, and I did not do drugs. I had wonderful grades and I was on the Varsity dance team in my sophomore year of high school. I made a mistake in my decisions, like MOST my age (I’m certainly not condoning that either). You would be AMAZED at the number of girls I knew that had become pregnant and had abortions, their parents completely unknowing of anything.
I was 16 when the clinic nurse told me I was pregnant. While I was crying and trying to pull myself together she was busy saying horrible things to me and tried as hard as she could to push abortion on me. Now while I had made a mistake I felt it was VERY wrong to cover up one mistake with one I knew would affect me (and my child) forever. How could I punish my child for my mistake?
Was being pregnant as a teenager easy? No. I experienced horrible morning sickness all the way through my pregnancy. Every time I would go somewhere I would get long cold stares from men and women alike..and every time I would turn red and feel the sting of humiliation. There were horrible rumors that flew through my school the first few months that I was constantly fighting off and some disapproving family members that had to be dealt with. It was hard and painful emotionally, it wasn’t easy at all.
From the day I’d found out I was pregnant I read every pregnancy book I could get my hands on, ate ALL the right foods.. I wouldn’t even touch anything with caffeine, and I went to all of my doctor’s appointments. I tried to do everything right.
After the initial shock and disappointment from my parents, they were supportive and felt I’d definitely made the right decisions. I started a program through my high school that would let me take my classes at my own pace. I kept up my high grades and also doubled up classes. I graduated a year early from high school with my diploma in hand.. and a baby!
The day I had my daughter I knew my life was changed forever.. but in a good way. I didn’t want to be a statistic and I wanted to be the best mom I could be and I have been since that crazy day when I was just 2 months shy of being 17.
I learned that while we’d made a mistake, it had led to a blessing. My blessing is now 8 years old and I thank God for her every day. I can’t envision my life without her and I wouldn’t change the way my life turned out.
If God can forgive us for our sins and love us still, why are WE so quick to judge? Being young is not an immediate indicator of a bad mother. I feel we owe Palin’s daughter a chance to prove herself before we condone her. Have her actions thus far not shown us that she is trying to make the right decisions for her child?
Just because we have freedom of speech in this amazing country doesn’t mean we should use it to hurt people. Can you imagine having ALL of America calling you out on YOUR mistakes?
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My best friend became a teen mother at 16 and although it was a huge mistake, like you said it turned out to be a blessing. She married the father after she graduated high school and they now have a wonderful family with 3 adorable children.
I became pregnant unexpectedly when I was 22. We’d just moved in together. Everybody judged us, it was so hard. I got those horrible looks from men and women all the time because I looked like I was about 15 and I wasn’t married as well. It was rough. But she has been the BIGGEST blessing of my life. I don’t know what I’d do without her!
People need to quit judging before they even know a person or their situation. It’s rough enough that I knew I’d made a mistake without everyone looking at me like I was horrible!
I guess what I’m saying is, I sort of know how you feel…what I thought was a mistake turned out to be a surprise instead, and a huge blessing.
I had my oldest when I was 19, and alone. I had been on my own since 15 , but I always knew from the day I found out I would keep the baby and be a better parent then mine had been to me.
I married the father and we had two others ,it wasn’t a happy life though and we divorced after 12 years. I’m remarried now and have a 8 month old and my new husband is wonderful.
Just because someone has a baby at an early age doesn’t always make for a bad life .
I think it must be awful for the whole world to be looking at you and pointing fingers, that poor girl has enough to deal with ,without having people who think they are better then her talking about her choices.
I think if it has nothing to do with you , you should worry about your own life…but that’s just me!
Wow wow and wow. Thank you for your honest post. What an amazing testimony to LIFE! You are truly an inspiration!
Very nice post…thanks for sharing your heart.
Brave post! One of my best friends in high school’s twin sister (following all that?!) was a teen mom at 16. She has an amazing family who embraced her and her son and said, “Whatever it takes.”
Congrats on being a good mom…no matter what your age.
Thanks for sharing your story. I too was a teen mother. Pregnant at 17, gave birth at 18. My daughter is now 30, married to a wonderful young man and gave birth to my beautiful grandson who just turned 1 last month.
Was it easy being a teen mom, NO. Was it the most rewarding experienceof my life, Yes. My family, friends and church were my rock through my pregnancy and help raise my daughter. To this day, I thank them. Please stop by blog and look at my Birthday Boy post under the September archives. You can catch a glimpse of my beautiful daughter and my grandson.
We all make mistakes, but I was able to move on with my life. One that I'm quite happy with I may add. My daughter graduated from high school with honors, National Honor Society and President of the National Spanish Honor Society. She graduated from college with a degree in Marketing as well.
I'm a full time manager for the federal government making six figures per year. I own Giggles & Sugar Kisses Boutique as well. Be the best mother and the best person that you can be and everything else will fall into place. Enjoy your blessing!
Wow, powerful post. Thanks for sharing your story.
Your daughter is beautiful and if I had my girls 10 years earlier I would still love them just as much as I do today. Great post. Stop by my blog to pick up an award I have for you!!
My sis was a teen mom, as were one of my friends in high school. While teen pregnancy is a national issue, it isn’t a cut-and-dry issue, it doesn’t mean a pregnant teen is a bad person – some teens get pregnant with boyfriends they’ve been dating for years via mishap and despite best cautionary efforts, some kids get pregnant because they are promiscuous for reasons they don’t even understand yet, some kids simply had a single lapse in judgment. My ONLY issues are 1. I worry about Palin’s daughter being hounded by press should she become VP – that girl deserves a normal chance at finding her way making the same mistakes most mothers do out of the spotlight. I also worry that publicizing the teen pregnancies of those who are able to give their babies everything or hire all the help they need glorifies the reality of becoming a mother for “normal” teens-a perception issue.
What a blessing that you would use your personal experience to encourage others!! Isn’t it wonderful how God can turn a difficult situation into something so beautiful!!
Also, wanted you to know that I awarded you with a creative blog award over at Creative and Curious Kids!
Congrats!! Jen
http://raisingcreativeandcuriouskids.blogspot.com
Fabulous post! I also agree with you that we should only be accountable to God and since He loved us enough to have His son DIE for us, then what right does ANYBODY here on earth have to judge us? His word tells us to LOVE one another. None of us are without sin. I don’t think the world is showing Bristol Palin or anyone else much love by judging them.
Great post! This is a tough topic and I appreciate your stance for Bristol. People need to remove the plank from their own eye before they start pointing out hers.
Love the videos, also… I had my first House Party.
I became pregnant unexpectedly at 19. I was not drinking, doing drugs, on any of that stuff. Furthermore, my dear mom didn’t (or anybody else for that matter) put a gun to my head and made go out and have sex with my boyfriend (now husband). It was my choice.
Parents can instill all the morals and every word of the bible in their children, but bottomline it’s still their children’s choice to choose right or wrong, do or die.
Depending on the circumstances, we cannot always judge a parent by the choice their children make.
Great post. Love the videos.
Great post and I think you made an excellent point. It’s not fair to place judgment on this young girl or judge Gov Palin as a parent. Thanks for sharing your story. Miss Smarty Pants is blessed to have you.
This is a beautifully written, powerful post. I’m so glad you wrote this. I too have been so frustrated at the comments made about Palin’s daughter; anyone can get pregnant, and becoming pregnant “out of wedlock” doesn’t mean that girl is a “bad girl” or outside the realm of God’s grace. I should know — one of my sisters was a teen mom AND I was pregnant before I got married. I wasn’t a teen, but I definitely was one of those girls that people wouldn’t have expected to be in that situation. Did that make me evil? No. God showed me such grace through that experience, my miscarriage, and the adoption of our daughter.
I get so angry when I hear or read comments about teen mothers. As a teacher, I had an average of 7 girls every year who became pregnant (as freshman). They had to endure stares and nasty comments from everyone. This segment of our population NEEDS our support, encouragement, and grace. Why would people think that ostracizing and ridiculing these girls is the ANSWER is beyond me. It’s cruel and definitely not a true “christian” response (despite what people think).
I need to stop rambling — I doubt I’m making any sense. Just wanted to let you know that I COMPLETELY agree!
What a wonderful post! I had my daughter at 19. She is 15 now! (yes, I feel old!)
What a wonderful mom you are, you should be proud. She is gorgeous!
WOW! Your post had many words that I have thought just haven’t written. I was a teen mom as well, very young. Your post has inspired me to write one of my own, so I will today. I will link back to yours, of course.
Hey Girl –
Love your story about your experience. And I know, those thoughts about Bristol are mine exactly. I can’t imagine what she may be thinking with the whirlwind that has been happening around her lately. And I of course love the Barlow Girl video, they are probably my fave chic band of all time. Talk to ya later.
Well said.
Wow! Thank you for this beautiful post! Working in a high school.. I am actually so proud of the girls that make it through with babies.. it is hard! Like you said, a mistake… but a bigger mistake would be to take that child’s life. You have such a sweet spirit. I also LOVE that Barlow Girl song and use it a lot with some of the teens I work with! Thank you for sharing this.