As most of you know I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis in July and the past month I’ve been voicing my fears about my upcoming hysterectomy. Well, the countdown has begun and I have a load of things I really just have to get off my chest.
These are my fears.. legitimate or not, I’m still terrified. Feel free to laugh as most of them are completely ridiculous.
1. That I’m going to die on the operating table.
I’m not completely insane, the risk of death from hysterectomy is about one in every 1,000 women. I’m just not sure I feel comfortable with those odds considering I look at it like I do sweepstakes, “you gotta be in it to win it and somebody has to win.” SOMEBODY has to be that 1 in 1000 and I don’t want it to be me!
2. The pain.. oh the pain!
3. I’m only 25, I wanted more than 2 children… I’m gonna whine and say “it’s just NOT FAIR!” .. I feel the need to add that I really can’t have more because I had my tubes tied to prevent anymore miscarriages. It was for the best and I’m at peace with that. But it’s strangely comforting to know you still have your baby baking machine.
4. I have this crazy fear of my husband leaving me for a cute little blonde.. with a uterus!
I know he won’t but like I said, not all of my fears are legitimate.
5. What if they damage my bladder while removing the endometriosis from it? I absolutely REFUSE to walk around with a pee bag and a timer for the rest of my life. I’m not always vain but that is where I draw the line! I’d like to keep my dignity at least.
I think that’s all for my list of fears. I will not speak of this anymore until after my surgery, I promise! I suppose I’ll get through this as any other woman would… My comfy lounge set from Old Navy (my favorite comfy outfit EVER), slippers, some heavy doses of pain meds, my mommy, my bible, some chicken noodle soup, my computer, some chick flicks and a box of tissues. Wish me luck gals and keep me in your prayers!
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About Miranda Kuskie
Good luck. I will be thinking of you. I have an appointment on Jan. 2nd to meet with my ob. I had the novasure procedure and it didn’t work so it looks like a hysterectomy is in my future as well.
Just remember one important thing…always take your pain meds. The last thing you want to do is play catch up with the pain.
Oh vent away! That is your right!
Good luck, I know you will be fine. I can feel it.
Pain meds, chased down by a beer…works wonders!
My thoughts and prayers are with you!
You will be fine, I am sure.
I will pray for you though, and send happy thoughts your way.
Good Luck!
Have you ever had a records review by an endo specialist? I had severe / serious endo, and it was excised and I did not need a hyst. Endo by definition is outside the uterus. If you have endo, you need it excised, not a hyst. Adeno is a different story.
these are the best docs, centerforendo.com, and they do free records reviews.
you can also go to erc.activboard.com/, endometriosissurgeon.com, endoexcision….too many doctors do not understand endo, i hope yours does
you can still have pain and problems if yours does not
There’s also a Dr Hibner in Phoenix, a Dr Koh in Milwaukee….
i hope you have the correct info, though, and won’t go through something that will not alleviate pain
Thank you for the links and doctors
My endometriosis is on my bowels, my bladder, all over my uterus and my ovaries. I also have some sort of crater in my uterus caused by some weird cyst from the endo.. I’m not sure what that was all about. I just know when it happen I was in an extreme amount of pain.
They’ll be excising the endo from the bladder and bowels. The problem is they have to be somewhat cautious about the endo elevating my estrogen levels because I have a blood clotting disorder which seems to flip out when my hormones go haywire. So in a sense there really isn’t any way around it, they’re hoping to be able to prevent any return whatsoever as well as keeping my blood disorder at bay.
Thanks again for your help and your concern
LOL!! This had me cracking up!
I will be praying for you! Thank you for this post!
I will absolutely be praying for you! My endo isn’t as advanced as yours, so I never needed anything more than a laproscopy a couple of times (or however you spell it). Although it did limit my childbearing, though we were able to have two, thank the Lord.
Several of my friends have had hyster….however you spell it…and they were fine. One of them was just a year younger than you when she had hers.
It’s better than having all that pain they say.
You are in my prayers and try to enjoy the holidays beforehand!
You are too funny but at least you’re honest! I suffered with severe endometriosis for years and I can tell you that my hysterectomy was the best thing for me. I felt so good after I recovered. I hadn’t known what it was like to go so long with NO PAIN and bleeding. It will be a relief for you, I’m sure. So, have your pity party and get ready to feel better. I’ll pray that all goes well for you!
I can’t imagine how anxious you must feel–good luck and I’ll be thinking of you!
You know, when you hear that inner voice saying “I’m not so sure I’m ready for this”, listen to your intuition.
Have you had an MRI of the pelvis in the past six months? It is the only non-invasive way of confirming endometriosis without surgery, so it’s a very important piece of objective information that is imperative before proceeding with an irreversible surgery like hysterectomy.
It also may be very helpful to you to watch the brief 12-minute video “Female Anatomy: the Functions of the Female Organs” at http://www.hersfoundation.org/anatomy
Slowing things down a little can buy you the time to gather more information. Once the surgery is done it can’t be undone, so take whatever time you need in taking such a final step. If you postpone the surgery for a few weeks or so it can always be rescheduled if you decide to proceed. But if you proceed and then realize that the far reaching consequences are not what you were expecting, it can’t be undone.
You are the only important person here. Your family will benefit from your doing what is best for you not only today but for your future.
I don’t think this is a pity party, I think your intuition is screaming to you not to do this right now. I agree with the above poster, listen to your inner voice. I have a friend who had endo, and was told at 32 years old that she needed a hysterectomy. She was not given any alternatives, and thought it was her only option (which was not true). It has basically ruined her life. In her early thirties she got osteoporosis so severe that she had significant bone loss. She has no sex drive and cannot get aroused or have an orgasm. She says now that she would have been happy to put up with the endo pain compared to the nightmare she’s living. She is having severe hormonal problems, yeast infections, and constant abdominal pain. She wishes she would have taken her time and learned more about her options. There are alternatives that you are not being offered and that you are not aware of. Take time to educate yourself on every detail of your condition and your options. When you don’t understand something, it’s the wrong time to agree to a surgery. There will never be a time you can’t get it done if you choose, but you can never undo it.
aww sweetie. I wish I could give you a big ol hug. and share a chick flick with you. bless your heart and your uterus.
I will pray for you that you get some mind release and feel better about this so you can enjoy your holidays a little more.
much love!
karissa
Good luck, and I wish you speedy recovery. Any time you want 2 more kids you’re welcome to my two boys for a day. They’ll change your mind in a heartbeat LOL.
I had the EXACT same thing as you. I am now 44 but I was 25 when I had my surgery. Mine was also wrapped around everything imaginable but after I FELT SO GOOD! I didn’t realize just how bad I felt nor how the blood loss was affecting me. I had ALL of the same fears you are having and I won’t lie to you I still want more children. I have two boys and seven grandchildren but I would have loved to have had a daughter.
The yearning has lessened over time and I like where I am right now. You are no less of a woman after surgery than you were before. Make sure you remember that always.
Make sure you are open and honest with your doc about the swing in moods. I tried to handle it all and ended up yelling and crying over anything. Thank God my hubby understood. Yes take your pain meds and please rest. Then rest some more. Don’t overdo it. I know hard to do but you must.
Take care and have the pity party – you deserve it. Hugs to you.
My thoughts are with you! My bff is going through the same thing right now, her hysterectomy is scheculed for January. She was never able to have her own but was able to adopt 2 cuties. Take care of yourself and rest up as much as poosible. Utilize every offer of help that comes your way. Have a wonderful holiday!
I have endo and my doctor would let me get a hysterectomy. I wanted one so bad, but she said I’m too young (i’m 28). I have two kids. I’m using Mirena, it worked for six months no pain but the pain is starting to come back. I had a laproscopic surgery when I was 19 or 20 I can’t remember for sure.
Good luck.
Hi,
I really want to impress upon you and echo the other posters to “wait”. First, I’ll address your concerns from someone who had a hysterectomy at 35 years:
1) death – this is a risk of any major surgery and it should give everyone pause to ensure surgery is needed and all options have been explored as this is the ultimate consequence;
2) pain – this actually falls into two categories, operative and beyond. For me because of a 9inch vertical incision, the operative pain lasted 3.5 weeks, the beyond pain started six months post-op in my lower back for the last 10 years – I had no pain before surgery;
3) age and additional children – neither of these two issues are a reason for or against surgery – again, one should only be proceeding if surgery is needed;
4) Hubby (and current children) simply additional reasons to not create additional health problems if surgery is not truly needed;
5) damage to bladder, actually all pelvic health is at risk, not just bladder.
For me, my health immediatley deteroriated after surgery and I would have given anything for someone to have warned me. If you decide to wait, I also agree to review the anatomy information at the HERS site and review the reproductive health information at this site:
http://westonaprice.org/women/wise_choices.html
Take care and good luck,
Good luck and God bless. I’m having my hysterectomy in one more day. . .but I’m 51 and really looking forward to it. I don’t have periods but have huge fibroids. Thanks for writing this blog.