Before I Was A Mom, The Mommy Curse, and The Lucky Lady
When I was little my mother used to tell me “I hope you have ten kids just like you.” I would tell her “Me too! And I’ll never spank them, or ground them, or have to send them to their rooms! They’ll ALWAYS be good!” and my mother would laugh (probably because I was slowly driving her insane.) Well, I like to call this the mommy curse. I really DID get ten kids just like me ALL packed into TWO adorable little children.
Before I had my own two crazy kiddos I used to see mothers in the store with their naughty screaming children and think “She must be doing something wrong. MY kids won’t be like that when I have kids!” I call this one the self-induced mommy curse! I laugh a little when people ask if we’re going through the terrible two’s for two reasons, #1: I’m like my mother and my kids are slowly driving me insane and #2: Are you KIDDING?! This kid was born naughty! Being 2 has absolutely nothing to do with it. He’s been this way since day one!
Today I had the luxury of being one of the mothers that EVERYONE in Walmart was staring at and felt as if I was going to break into tears at any given second. Some of the mothers looked at me with pity in their eyes while the younger men and women looked at me like I must be doing something wrong. Maybe that’s what is frustrating, to be trying so hard to be a good mom yet you’re being looked at like you’re on trial anyways. It was during this time I came across the world’s luckiest woman. This woman was not watching her kids because she was too busy trying to stock up on 50% off candy, I’m sure she heard me coming with the 2 year old siren I was pushing in the cart through the aisle just trying to get through people so I could go check out and of course her little girl ran right in front of me at the last second so I stopped my cart and then slowly moved around the little girl and the mom gave me a dirty look and said “THERE YOU GO!” I turned around to make sure she was talking to me and sure enough she was! I say she’s the luckiest lady ever because if I’d been anyone else I would have turned around, given her a piece of my mind and TACKLED HER! I’m not an aggressive woman but it probably would have felt GREAT! But luckily for her God cleared the path to the checkout (seriously, it was like He just parted the waters!) so I said a quick prayer, took a deep breath, and made my escape before I had time to do anything that I’d regret later. I feel compelled to say that I’ve never been in a fight and I’m usually overly nice to people who don’t deserve it. I didn’t even realize I had it in me to feel so frustrated and angry with a complete stranger. I just can’t imagine being brave enough to say something so rude to a mom when I probably looked as if I was just going to lose it at any moment. WHAT was she thinking?!
Before I was a mom I thought I knew everything. I also thought my kids would be perfect angels. I thought for sure that I would never get so frustrated that I’d want to body slam a complete stranger. Now that I’m a mom I know my kids will never be perfect but they’re perfect in their imperfections. I love them both, even if my youngest makes every grocery shopping trip one of my most humiliating life experiences and my eight year old is finding her bossy demanding voice and uses it frequently. I’ve also learned since having children that sometimes when you laugh it isn’t because something is funny, it’s sometimes to keep from crying.
Not too long ago I sent my eight year old daughter to her room for using her bossy voice and hitting her brother. She screamed at me and said, “When I have kids I’ll NEVER get them in trouble!” I just laughed and said “Really? I hope you have 10 kids just like you!”
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It really comes full circle, doesn’t it? I had it worse. I taught elementary school for ten years before I became a mom. I really thought I knew what I was doing…Well, I had the fancy smancy credentials on the wall and all…Even I had to ‘fess up…There’s just a few things ya gotta experience to understand. Thanks for the giggle!
I loved your honesty in this post! I think it rang so true to me because I can totally relate!
That made me laugh!
My mom said the same thing…sorta….”I hope your kids are just as bad, if not WORSE than you!”
I was a hellion as a teenager.
oh boy..that brought me back. My kids are 19 and 17 now, but back when they were about 2 and 4 and I was a single mom…they had a melt-down in the grocery chek-out line. I was holding my son so he wouldn’t fall while he arched his back in my arms and screamed. I desperately asked the check-out clerk (one of those ‘you must be doing something wrong’ types) if she could get someone to pack my groceries. She looked at me blankly and said ‘we don’t do that here’ and the tears just started rolling down my cheeks…then an angel squeezed behind me and quietly started packing my groceries into bags and into my cart: a man who looks about 60. He smiled at me kindly and then I really couldn’t stop the tears. Sometimes nobody can really understand unless they have been there too…
I love this post!
Thank you!
It is so hard to be a mom out in public. Seriously. Everyone, even those who know better than to, judge you. Yes, I’ve been guilty of it too, but I also cut people slack and give them the benefit of the doubt. And understanding looks instead of judging looks.
For what it’s worth, I would have wanted to tackle that lady also – how obnoxious!!
Oh…I totally feel ya! When I was younger I wanted 10-12 kids! (stop laughing! I’m serious!) When I found out that I was having my first daughter my dad didn’t say anything when I told him. My mom looked over at him and said, ‘well…aren’t you going to say anything?’ and my dad said, ‘well yes, paybacks are a b!*@%!’ lol He hit the nail right on the head…she is JUST like me! (sigh) Good luck!
Ugh, I used to be that person too. I think all moms can relate. Sometimes I just want to keep the kid home til he’s 30.
Oh Miranda. I need to direct you to some of my older Mom Tips. It seems that just about 40% of the absurd things that can happen in mothering happen in the grocery store. I only give it gredit for 40% because there’s another 40% that happen in church leaving 20% for just about everywhere else not necessarily designed for children. You are not alone!
I totally agree and I to was someone who thought my child would be different oh boy was I wroooooooooooooooooooooooong. She still is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Your right at how lucky that mom was to run into you cause about that point in walmart I will break. Love the post
I think every mother out there has a story like this one…
I have so been there girl! Don’t you just Love mothers like that!?!
I have red hair so when I was naughty my Mother use to say to me….I hope you have a little girl with red hair just like you! Well, I have one! Pay back time!
Thanks for the laugh!
Aw we all go through it and those who don’t either don’t have children or don’t pay attention to them.
My 6 year old asked me if I loved my children. I responded that of course I do. She then astutely asked “if you love us, then why do you punish us?”. My answer? “Augustine dear, ask yourself another question, if you love mummy, why do you disobey?”
She was quiet after that.
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Miranda,
As the mom of 3 daughters, 6 year old twins & a 15 year old(Just wait! LOL!)….I figure, if your kids DON'T embarrass you, and tell you they hate you(our at least don't like you), or call you the "wicked, wicked witch Mother" (which my 15 year old did in Kmart when she was 3….complete with a full spin & foot stomp), you're probably not doing your job. Also, my mom used to curse us too(me and my sisters)…but she messed up, because I got one like me(LOTS of mouthy back talk), and one like my SISTER i.e. Dennis the Menace!
Cheers
Kim
Thank you for writing this post! I can relate to this post 100%! I will definitely be thinking about this post and smiling to myself as I head to the store today with my 9 and 3 yr olds, lol!
I can sooooooo relate to your post. It’s amazing when we become moms how things change – mostly for the better
I’ve had my “Walmart” moments too. Taking three kids shopping is tough, but you do what you must. Thanks for your honesty and for admitting what we all feel sometimes – that we’re not perfect!
What a great post! This had me laughing but realizing that’s ME too while reading it!
This part: “Are you KIDDING?! This kid was born naughty! Being 2 has absolutely nothing to do with it. He’s been this way since day one!” Made me realize I am NOT the only one with a 2 year old boy who has been naughty since day 1. It’s so funny what we endure as you call the “mommy curse”.
thanks and yes I am the mom in Walmart who sometimes gets stared at because her 2 year old boy decides to YELL at the top of his lungs through the WHOLE store..lucky for me he is still small enough to be BUCKLED IN the cart…once he outgrows this cart fitting stage, I wonder what I will do with him?! LOL
Hugs,
brandyellen@writingsofawahm.com
wonderful post! Love the story.
I can completely relate to this! My kids were going to be perfect (before I had them) Geez, reality sure set in that first week LOL. I also have an obnoxious BIL who doesn’t have any kids yet who is always making “comments.” He’ll find out he doesn’t know everything one day. hehe
I might have said something to that woman. I have a problem with keeping my mouth shut. I just can’t do it most days.
In our house it’s either laugh or want to kill the kids. My 7yo shows me all to often why there are some beaten kids in this world. I’m not saying they deserve it in any way, but man, some can push a person over the edge if you’re not careful. Or is that only my kids who like to see adults cry?
Oh wow, I know what you mean. My mom always told me that too. My 9 month old was born naughty too lol. In the last week he has pulled down a plate of Mexican food and broke the plate and today pulled down a cup of tea… both in public. I pull him as far as I can from the table but he has stretch armstrong arms I promise! I can’t believe that RUDE woman!!!